Nervousness Racking Up and Up and UP!

So, the church I attend is amazing. I love it, seriously, more than any church I have ever attended before in my life. (And I have attended quite a few...) Anyway. I go to the college group on Sunday nights to experience a younger service and be with my friends. I sing (fairly okay) on a good day and the worship leader asked if I would sing with her. Reluctantly, I agreed. I don't sing in front of people, I sing in my car! HUGE DIFFERENCE! Obviously my nerves were building over the week until Sunday came. I was nervous through the rehearsal, through dinner, through the message, and all the way up until we got called up to sing. I took a breath and was fine. It was weird. But I enjoyed it so much!

After that experience, I have been meaning to ask her if I could sing with her again, but I just never did. Last night at college group I was thinking about this as we were tearing down the stage. She and another girl were playing a Hillsong song on the piano. Jokingly I asked, "Are you singing that for us next week?" and she responded with "I won't be here next week, I'm going to be at Hume." And then her eyes got HUGE and she said I should sing next week and fill in for her. LEADING. I don't LEAD, I harmonize in the background where nobody thinks of looking or listening. Leading is a whole new ball game!! 

My friend that was with her by the piano said if I sing, she'll play guitar. As if that's going to help my nerves! But I said yes anyway. Now that I have slept on it and had time to think about what songs to do I have come to the conclusion that I HAVE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE! I cannot remember the last time I have felt this nervous! And I'm not even singing until SUNDAY! It's only Monday! I don't think I can handle 6 more days of nerves!!

Oh, Jesus, please please please help me through this!!

It Really Was Just "One of Those Days"

I spent my day relaxing and watching a Supernatural marathon with one of my friends. For too long I have been worrying and stressing about tomorrow, next week, next year even. It was so ridiculously nice to just take a day where I could relax and not stress or even think about anything except for the extremely emotional scenes that were playing out before me on the television screen. I feel bad that I did nothing of any remote importance today, but I regret nothing!

:)

The Start of a New Internet Lifestyle

It is the near end of summer and I am still in a position that is less than wonderful. College students are meant to be broke, right? That is the common stereotyping. Well, congratulations to me, without a full time job, I fall into that oh so marvelous stereotype. 
Who could ask for more? 

Dear God, 
Please bless those around me who so kindly put up with me and all of my crap. Thank you for all of the many opportunities that have presented themselves and the wonderful people that you have brought into my life, each of them have come to mean so much to me in so many different ways and I could not be more thankful. I ask that you help me with my judgement in the coming months and that you grant me with peace and joy even when I want nothing more than to scream and pull out someone's hair.
Amen.

P.S. 
PLEASE HELP ME FIND A JOB!

Amen amen.